Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
