a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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