I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
