I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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