Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
