Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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