This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
