why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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