apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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