Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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