Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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