Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think your dad took our porno
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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