somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
