so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
