why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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