i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
