have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The best revenge is premature balding
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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