I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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