I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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