I want to walk on stilts...naked
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hippo gnu deer
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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