Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
