what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
