I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
