that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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