it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
