filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
