My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
