i jhust puked up my retainher.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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