bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think your dad took our porno
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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