OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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