I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
