he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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