I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
