Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
