I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Randomize
