yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
