i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
