no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
