whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
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