he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
