All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
