pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
