the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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