you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
