Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
