Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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