i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Randomize
