somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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