If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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