Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
