I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
