That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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