Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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