why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
