the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
