Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
