Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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