he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
