Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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