Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
