im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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