You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
