I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
