i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
